Lloyd
Last night Lloyd bit Matt on the hand and made Matt bleed. I had to take Matt to the emergency room to get checked out, some antibiotics and a tetanus shot. Today I had to take Lloyd to the vet to be put to sleep.
No it was not a rash decision, and despite my reputation for keeping a clear head under usually emotional circumstances, it was an extremely emotional experience. This was something that was a long time coming, Lloyd has shown aggressive behavior before and last night was the last time I could stand by in vain hope. Possibly for the first time Matt has seen me really cry. I don't mean a few tears quietly wept like when we finally released Matt's dog Blue from his illness and pain earlier this year, but the gut-wrenching, body shaking sobs, tears and moans of my heart breaking - something that has only happened on maybe one or two occasions before and never for an animal. I hate to cry, dislike being very emotional. I'm a control freak, who has probably watched way too much Star Trek while growing up wishing I were a Vulcan. I always scoffed when my sister Tracy used to used to insist that her cat’s were our mother’s grandchildren. Pets were pets, not family.
You see Lloyd was actually MY DOG. I chose him. I brought him home. I took him to the vet for his check-ups and shots, carried him with me on those long driving trips to Canada after getting him all prettied up at the vet. When I got him I had just been a few months in my house and still working the 'job from hell' - I was depressed. Lloyd made me feel better. My brother Ian was the first to point out that Lloyd thought I was his mommy - by asking Lloyd to 'find mommy.' Lloyd never hesitated, he came straight to me. That had to be the beginning of the end. Lloyd crept into my heart and took up residence.
He was such a good dog and companion that even my father like him. He was a gentle dog, and smart - he loved to show you where the treats were and could always be counted on to let me know in no uncertain terms when he had to go outside. He accepted the cats Ian brought home, Hogan and Edge, and even the sneaky kitty - Jet Li that I brought home when my friend Chao had to give him up. Yes, if they ran he would chase, and if they got too close to me he would nudge them out the way, rarely was he aggressive with them.
Lloyd's downfall was that he was very protective of me. My brother would demonstrate this fact by telling Lloyd that he was going to poke me and then proceeding to poke me in the shoulder with a finger. Lloyd would go nuts, but for the most part treated it like a game because he seemed to accept Ian as a playmate of sorts. Lloyd would bark at anyone passing by, whether it was a pedestrian outside the fence, across the street even, or my father walking around in his own house at night while I was sleeping during visits to Canada. Lloyd would routinely try to get between me and anyone who tried to sit next to me on the couch or hug me. After all if I needed a hug that is what he was there for - right? He also gave the sweetest kisses - no slobber, very neat and full of love. Watching TV with Matt has sometimes meant that Lloyd wound up on my lap or on both our laps.
My mother made it clear in no uncertain terms that she had precedence/seniority and Lloyd, smart puppy he was accepted that. After all - my mother was the cook and keeper of all the tasty homemade scraps that Lloyd got when we went to Canada. Every trip to Canada meant so many days of no dog food - not even the temptation of wet dog food would sway him from his mission to mooch as much table scraps as possible while we visited my parents. Ham, turkey, ribs, lobster, chicken, and don’t forget cake. There’s always cake at my mom’s house. He always got a hamburger and some fries on the way up and back and he always hoped to get more when we passed through the toll booths along the way. Drive-thru was a concept he very quickly grasped.
My sister Cindy didn't get such deferential treatment, if she wanted a hug it wound up being interrupted. When we visited her place he quickly made it clear to her dogs Bonnie and Clyde that he wasn't like them, didn't do the whole butt-sniffing thing and did not appreciate them trying to get my attention. Unfortunately, while at Cindy's he also demonstrated an amazing lack of talent/ambition with the whole fetch idea - he might have to run so far from me that he couldn't see me or protect me from those hugging people. This was despite how much he loved to run and in Canada he could run freely off the leash without worry of traffic, or pedestrians since they live in the country. Lloyd hated the rain - would not go out in the rain for all the biscuits in the box, but snow was another story. He loved to run through the snow and snow banks when we visited my folks and even when the snow was piled high in our yard or when I was shoveling the sidewalk he had a grand time trying to catch snowballs.
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